Zipper Merge

Push your key into my ignition babe

Let’s go for a ride

You know I been riding and driving

To Uranus and back in miles

It’s a beautiful sunny day

Our adventures are underway

Just sit back and close your eyes

But you gotta watch out!

We ain’t the only people on the way

And the way they drive how are they still alive

It heats me up to say

Now I know we gotta live and learn

But if you wanna take a quicker turn

You gotta know how to zipper merge

Why don’t you know how to zipper merge?

Now I know you think you’re being polite

Ooh but that ain’t right

We gotta use all the lanes tonight

(All the lanes)

So we don’t have to get in a fight

(Give em the step by step)

(Step one)

Relax your shoulders

You’re gonna do great

(Step two)

Put down your phone you stupid idiot

And concentrate

(Sorry ‘bout that step three)

Fill all the lanes up

Even the ones that they’re gonna close

(Step four)

Drive all the way down

Until you’re up against the cones

You’re almost done!

Try not to brown in your gown

(Step five)

Take turns every other car

It looks like a zipper if you’re looking down

Now I know we gotta live and learn

But if you wanna take a quicker turn

You gotta know how to zipper merge

Why don’t you know how to zipper merge?

Now I know we gotta live and learn

But if you wanna take a quicker turn

You gotta know how to zipper merge

Why don’t you know how to zipper merge?

Now I know you think we’re being rude

(So rude)

And I know you think you’re helping too

By making sure everybody follows your rules

Follows your rules

But my dude

It’s the truth

Why don’t you

Get a clue

If we cruise

Zipper you

And I too

Can get through

It’s a beautiful

Human who do

Something new

Me and you

Now we’re cool

Drink a brew

With the crew

Barbeque

Drink more booze

Drop a deuce

In the pool

Through my tools

At your glutes

While you do

Jujitsu

Now you’re loosing

A tooth

And you’re suing

Me too

I say truce

We were fools

Ink a few

New tattoos

That say I want to zipper with you

Now I know we gotta live and learn

But if you wanna take a quicker turn

Woah you gotta know

Woah you gott know how to zipper merge

Aye

Aye Ha!